Everyday Courtesies

People stand when they are introduced to each other. There used to be a long list of rules about when to stand: men stood to meet each other and to meet women, women remained seated, and so forth. Today, the rules have shifted somewhat. Men still stand to meet each other; they still stand to meet a woman. And there is a growing tendency for women to stand when meeting another person these days. A woman who is greeting a client for a lunch she has planned may feel it is only appropriate to stand to greet that person, even if she is already seated at a table in a restaurant. On the other hand, many women retain the prerogative of remaining seated under these circumstances. Use whichever seems the more natural and gracious action toward the person you are greeting.

Younger persons have – and is hoped, always will – show courtesy to older persons by standing to greet them, but, as with the custom of calling an older person Mr., Mrs., or Miss, this custom can have a cutting edge in one’s professional life, and it is sometimes difficult to know when it is more tactful not to refer to a colleague on the basis of age. About the only honest answer is to play the situation by ear. If your company is very casual, or if a person with whom you deal has indicated anxiety about getting older or even seems vain about appearing young, it is probably more tactful not to stand. On the other hand, if yours is a company where the young executives show a great deal of deference to old hands, it is smarter to extend courtesies of this nature.

It is gracious to stand to greet anyone who comes into your office, with the exception of a secretary, assistant, or co-worker who comes in regularly. Always stand to greet visitors. Colleagues frequently shake hands when they have not seen one another for a while, such as when someone returns from a vacation or an extended business trip.

As soon as you have finished the greetings, motion to the person to a nearby chair if the visitor is obviously going to stay.