Communication is the single most important factor for success, said a world-renown author. True, it is through communication that we understand and misunderstand each other. It is the medium by which we are able to get or do not get what we want by how we deliver or bungle our messages to others.

Conversation is the everyday use of communication, whether personal or business. It is our automatic exercise of the desire and the facility to get our messages across and consequently receive messages back. It is the unguarded, unconscious transmission of words and ideas to another person.

Cover of Effective Communication

Conversation is an extremely important activity for everyone. More than 90% of our communications involve conversations with office mates, friends, bosses, clients, family, associates, strangers, even pets. But because conversation is an automatic action, which means that we do it without being conscious of it more than our desire to create a connection, there are many times that we find others unable to communicate back effectively, or worse, we ourselves become boring communicators. There are few things we need to remember every time we have a conversation with someone.

  • Conversation must be a learned skill, similar to a formal communication.
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This means we need to be conscious from now on about our manner, and our skill, of conversing with others. It means we need to be conscious every time we converse about our messages and the manner these messages are being transmitted. The key questions to ask are: How do I say this? If I say it this way, how will the other person feel or think? Is that the way I want the other person to think or feel?

  • Not to use the wrong word.

This means we will have to think of the words we use in conversation. We have to choose the words properly. We must choose the words that will generate the feeling or the thinking that we want the other person to have. We must not use words that evoke negative feelings or negative thoughts. Our aim is to get our message across. Again, the key questions are: How will I say it? If I say it this way, how will the other person feel or think about it? Is that the way I want the other person to think?

  • Talk about things that interest the other person, not only your interests.

There is a principle in motivation that says that you can get anything you want as long as you help enough people get what they want. Recall an instance when you were talking to somebody and you were so interested in what he was saying to you. We should try to recreate such a situation when we are conversing with somebody. How do you make the other person interested?

  • Maintain eye contact.

The eyes are the windows of the soul, so says the famous line. Our sincerity is seen in our eyes. Eye contact is a demonstration of an interest in the other person and in what he is saying. In the same way that we want the other person to show interest in what we are saying, looking at the other person’s eyes will convince him of our sincerity.

  • Listen.

Listening is the best compliment one can give in a conversation. It takes two to complete an exchange. Effective communication is two-way. It cannot happen with both persons talking at the same time. One has to listen while the other is talking. An effective communicator listens more than he talks.

Our waking hours are spent conversing more than any other activity. It is to our best advantage if we can keep our conversation at all times interesting, and not boring, in order for us to achieve our communication goals. In that way, we are certain to lead happy and satisfactory relationships both in business and in our personal lives.