You might think that the dos and don’ts of resume writing are common sense.

However, I have seen some resumes that would make Mickey Mouse look like a rocket scientist. In today’s scarce job market, job seekers really need to have a gaffe and mistake free resume. Here are 25 things not to include in your resume.

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  1. Never claim that you went to any school that you didn’t actually go to. Chances are that the very faux college history that you write will mirror someone on the hiring team. Plus, there are now services like EmployAct.com, that can verify education in one click.
  2. Unless you have a GPA of 4.0, exclude it. Exclude it even if you have a 3.9. You’re just admitting that other potential employees with a 4.0 are better qualified.
  3. Save personal info like your religion, political preference, marital status, sexual orientation, number of children, physical description, and age for match.com. Personal info does not belong on a resume, unless it is specifically related to the job.
  4. Your hobbies are also out of place. Employers do not want to know that you knit in your spare time. In fact, an extensive list of hobbies can send a red flag up to the employer that you might be a little too preoccupied to even hold the job.
  5. Email addresses that are offensive or silly do not belong on anything professional. “Gayjewishstrippergirl” or “bigsexymama” may be the ideal email address for your personal transactions, but professional transactions should have a professional email address. It only takes two minutes to sign up for a free email address with a professional name.
  6. Reasons why you left your previous jobs are not necessary. If the employer wants an explanation, this will be covered in the interview, where complicated terminations, etc.. can be explained.
  7. Never list out the things that you are unwilling to do. This is a sure way to never find a job. You should have a basic job description before applying for a job. If you are unwilling to do the things on that list, then don’t bother applying.
  8. Don’t list every job you have ever had. Don’t try to make your experience delivering Dominos pizza have some bearing related to your ability an accountant. It only looks silly. Only list relative experience to the position you are applying.
  9. Omit listing multiple short term jobs if you are applying for a permanent position. It could signal that you are not permanent position material.
  10. Internships and volunteer work should only be included if you do not have at least five years of industry related professional experience.
  11. Never refer to yourself in the third person- “Jo has been a nurse supervisor for 10 years.” It is inferred on a resume that the resume subject is the one with 10 years experience. “10 years as a nurse supervisor” is suffice.
  12. With all the threat of identity theft, you would think that no one would be foolish enough to put their social security number on a resume, but it happens. Providing a social security number is unnecessary until it is time for the employer to do a background check. Undesirable resumes are often just stuck in the waste basket….where anyone could gain access to your personal information.
  13. In the United States, you should never attach a picture to a resume. It is illegal for most employers to consider personal appearance in the hiring process, and to ensure compliance with Equal Opportunity legislation they will often just trash the entire resume.
  14. Do not exclude yourself before you get a chance to explain any criminal history. Listing criminal histories on resumes is not required. That is a subject for the interview.
  15. Unless you are applying for a job at the comedy barn, save the jokes and sarcasm for future office parties. First of all, it is a waste of valuable space that you could use to highlight that which will get you hired. Second, jokes depend on the employer “getting it.” Chances are, they will find it more of a waste of time… than funny.
  16. Do not include sorority or fraternity offices under leadership skills. Sure, some interviewers may also be in on the frat pack, but to others, this translates as: “Partied their way through college.”
  17. You should never include the training, education, etc.. that you haven’t completed or have let lapse. For example, it may seem like a good idea to put that you were CPR certified from 1999- 2006, but the employer will not see that as an accomplishment. They will just wonder why you let it lapse.
  18. Personal debt is not for the resume. Yeah, I actually received a resume once that listed an expected salary, and then gave a break down of her personal debt to “justify” the salary expectation.
  19. Only include salary expectations on a resume if specifically asked to do so, and then try to be as broad as possible. Some jobs have a set salary that can not be exceeded, but others might depend on how strong the employers desire is to hire you.
  20. It is wise to wait to list references until asked. However, if you do it anyway, then at least make sure you actually have the permission of the reference and know what the reference will say. There is nothing more embarrassing than an employer calling a reference to hear: “Jo Oliver, who is that?”
  21. Don’t just rely on spell check. Nothing says don’t hire me like grammatical mistakes. Make sure every word is correctly spelled, used, and in context. Mistakes like: their vs. there, your vs. you’re, a vs. an , etc.. are common mistakes.
  22. You do not want to make the employer get a dictionary out to decipher your resume. Avoid using too many obscure words. Just because you know what temerity is doesn’t mean that the employer will.
  23. Unless your blog contains only work related material, do not list it on your resume. Do not even list professional blogs that contain pictures of yourself or personal data.
  24. Travelogues do not belong on a resume. Realty check… planning and financing personal trips does not count as budgeting experience. The only time travel is even applicable on a resume is if the job requires travel to a specific locale that you have frequently visited.
  25. Don’t add sugar to your resume. Save the butt kissing for the interview. Employers do not want to sift through why you think they are wonderful while they are trying to determine if you are wonderful.

There you have it. Please feel free to add to the list!