What makes work so terrible? Not boring, but terrible? Your boss. That nit-picking, hair gelling, fat mongering pain in the arse that almost every single person has to deal with.

I will admit every once in a while you’ll meet someone who is simply blessed and spouts something that can only be described as nonsense to me: “Actually my boss is great.” Does anyone hear this? EVER?! I have heard it only once, and I never heard from him again…

I’m not complaining about work or my fellow enslaved, I’m not talking about the mind numbing boredom that is work, whether it be packing clothes, taking tickets, posting letters, or drawing frame after frame for Walt Disney. The boss is hardly to blame when it comes to looking at your watch and realising you’re stuck in that current position for another 7hours. I blame the boss for almost everything else, and here’s why!

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Because I have yet to meet a supervisor or manager or whatever the case may be doing any actual work. I have yet to see one treat you as someone equal, really think about it, when they talk to you (Even the nice ones) don’t you feel like they’re looking down on you? I have also never seen one admit their mistakes and take the blame. So I am writing this message because I want to express the things I’d love to say to my manager. (The only thing he could manage is another grease filled hotdog.)

1. Why don’t you put your aftershave/perfume on instead of showering in it?

Let’s face it, every time they come over to talk to you; your eyes water, your nostrils sting and your throat goes instantly, not unlike Texas, painfully dry. It isn’t pleasant! And YES! We get it, you own 90% alcohol 10% bleach.

2. Why in gods name did you buy £90 shoes for factory work? Are you a bloody idiot?

So many times I have chewed my tongue off resisting, watching the ‘tool’ complain that his brand new expensive shoes have been scuffed, or her designer high heels are breaking. They have no one to blame but themselves.

3. Oh don’t worry about being late, your only the f**king manager, no one needs you to sign the payslips, check us off the tills, tell us exactly what needs doing.

Late managers, unbelievable, it shocks me how they got the job in the first place, usually the reason is because their hair wasn’t quite right, or they missed the bus. Enough already, if your going to get paid a considerable amount more than the lower employees then you better damn well show up on time!

4. I hate bosses  PEOPLE who think they are funny and walk around all day making jokes that are simply bad; and the people who encourage them are even worse. SHAME ON YOU! 

Your NOT funny, people only laugh because they want more pay, stop making sexual innuendos and shut the f**k up.

5. I’m going to murder you, you bloody useless oxygen thief.

Nothing really to say about that one, but who hasn’t thought it?

I’m sure there are thousands more horrible, just, life altering things you want to say but shouldn’t, but unfortunately; I have to go to work.

http://mtsu32.mtsu.edu:11218/300px-The_Scream.jpg