Freedom

Recruiter: So Rowan, I see that there is a bit of a gap in your CV from January until October. What were you doing during this time?

Rowan: Well I wanted to be an actor, so I gave that a go, but I didn’t really get too far on account of having no talent, I then went home for a bit.

Recruiter: Ok, should I just put ‘travel’ then?

Rowan: You could if you like, or you could put the truth: ‘Failed acting aspirations, went to Amsterdam took mushrooms, opened his mind, and realized that ‘the man’ has no control over his thoughts. Doesn’t really know what he wants to do his life, but isn’t bothered by that fact, although society seems to be, and this bothers him.

Recruiter: I’ll just go with travel. And don’t tell them about that acting thing…you don’t want them thinking you have any interests in life besides checking the scouring on a bridge peer, and remember; wear a tie.

Why are gaps in my CV of interest?

I am struggling with the paradox of having to do something that I don’t want to, to enable me to do the things I do. And why should I accept it as ‘part of life?’ Because it’s not part of mine…well it is, but I don’t want it to be. When did we give up our freedom? I don’t mean the type William Wallace fought for, we apparently have that already, for which I am grateful. But what good is that type of freedom if we are still too scared to have a gap in our CV?

[South Africa was part of the British Commonwealth. Scotland is part of Britain. As South Africans we now need a visa to enter Britain, and anywhere else on this planet for that matter, all because some person decided this…talk about the sweet taste of freedom.

Tanzania is the third poorest country in the world and the country with the most natural resources. Something is a miss in this world. I don’t know why I included that shit about Tanzania, but I thought I would anyway – see, no rules to my life.]

Recruiter: So William you want a job? I see you have a bit of a gap in your CV during the 13th century. What were you up to?

Wallace: I was fighting for freedom.

Recruiter: You’re going to have to be more specific than that.

William: Well I think I might have been about to sack York at that time, but I got turned away on account of not having the correct visa…I can’t really recall.

Recruiter: How did the freedom fight go?

Wallace: It was quite successful, up until the point of my disembowelment and beheading. My fault really, I should have checked the expiry date of my passport.

Recruiter: Oh, sorrytohearthat. Um…would you say you did much traveling during that time?

Wallace: FREEDOM!

When am I meant to find the time to scoot across Vietnam? On my 21 days leave a year, or when I’ve retired? It wouldn’t be too fun scooting across a country with a false hip.

-Well thanks to this wonderfully free society in with I live, this is probably not going to be too much of a problem, because to go to Vietnam I probably need a visa, to get a visa I need a job, and if I have a job I won’t have the time to do it-

I heard that ‘…only 40% of companies are bothered by long gaps in one’s CV, so in an interview don’t be afraid to say you took some personal time…” well thanks for the advice. Only 40%? Sweet, bring on the other 60% and let’s get me employed.

Well fuck it, I’m going to do what I want in my life, and if I fuck it up I will accept responsibility for that choice, which is indecently what very few people are willing to do also.

I am going to lead an alternative life style, and I don’t mean the homosexual variety, um…which is cool…if that’s what you’re into.

While I’m dropping the knowledge here are a couple of gems to sustain your mind: We probably don’t only live once, and fate is bullshit!

- My sister is certain she was John Lennon, who dies about two weeks before she was born, so it works out -

Enjoy living the life you have complete control over, and if you bugger it up don’t blame anyone else, and don’t fret; you might have another chance.

I am going to take a quick trip to the toilet now; I feel a bowel movement coming along. As a holder of a third world passport I was lucky enough to see this as a possibility when I ate that large plate of beans earlier in the week so I was able to apply for permission to enter the bathroom in advance, my passport arrived in the mail today with my multiple entry visa on page 231 – right opposite the one allowing me to leave the house – so there hopefully won’t be any passport worries on my way, and this is a double bonus, because if I run out of toilet roll I can just use my passport.