Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts when starting a new job, especially if you want good relationships with new colleagues.

Unless you are a night watchman, people are probably the single most important factor in your job. Whether or not they choose to help you can be decisive in the success of your career. That means that when you start work, making friends needs to be a priority.

You only have one chance to make a first impression, and first impressions are important. They shape the way you are seen and all of your actions will be interpreted in the light of the basic way that people see you. If people like you, your not-so-standard habits are quirky and interesting, if they don’t, the same habits seem oddball and set people whispering behind their hands. Not a great start.

Top Ten Dos and Don’ts

10 DOs

  1. DO: Consider your appearance. Try to look good and fit in. Avoid overtly sexy outfits in most workplaces and try to conform to the general dress standard.
  2. DO: Be on time. If that means leaving super-early because you’re not sure of the travel time, make the effort and wait in a café round the corner until it’s nearly your start time.
  3. DO: Think about what you will say to new colleagues when you are introduced. At the very least remember to smile and make eye contact.
  4. DO: Keep useful items in your bag / desk. Have enough money, including change; postage stamps, needle and thread, asprin, lozenges, and a spare box of tights. These can all be a godsend to your new colleagues when they really need something – and they’ll remember you for it.
  5. DO: Allow for enough time to stay at the office until you see what time people generally leave in the evening
  6. DO: Look impressed by what people tell you they have done, without feeling the need to out-do them. It is a subtle form of flattery and makes people feel good about themselves, and you.
  7. DO: Actively make an effort to break the ice with anyone in your area. This becomes more difficult once you have been there for a week or more, so try to speak to all of your new colleagues at least once in the first few days. Make a diagram of where everyone sits to record and memorise their names.
  8. DO: Be conservative with humour. If you must tell jokes, select them with care. Avoid swearing.
  9. DO: Ask for advice. You need it, and people will feel that you are acknowledging their expertise.
  10. DO: Accept guidance and criticism of your initial work pieces with good grace. It’s acceptable not to be an expert when you first arrive.

10 DON’Ts

  1. DON’T: Gossip about colleagues or make any kind of negative comment about individuals. People in organisations know each other. They have been working together long before you arrived, and their loyalties are stronger to each other than to you. Remember that, before you tell your new colleague that you have just spoken to “this complete pratt called Martin in the commercial department”.
  2. DON’T: Criticise or badmouth any particular social group or characteristic – especially until you know people (much) better. Saying you hate 4×4 drivers is fairly unwise, at least until you have checked the car park. Comments about the local pub being a dive or a certain district being common are certain to reach the ears of someone who frequents them.
  3. DON’T: Say the last person who was in your role must have had the brain of a whitebait because it’s in such a mess – you don’t know where they are now or whether you are talking to their best mate or husband
  4. DON’T: Offer to help anyone do things better until you have been there a while, or tell people how you are going to do things differently until you have properly understood why they are done that way today
  5. DON’T: Underestimate the importance of the support staff such as secretaries, security guards and maintenance people. There are times when their help will be worth its weight in gold.
  6. DON’T: Describe how you complained about your last boss for discrimination or went to the union over unfair treatment. You may well have been entirely right to do so but, no matter how unfair this may be, it will still reflect badly on you.
  7. DON’T: Expound strong political or religious views; it may be best to keep them to yourself initially, or at least moderate how you express them. Not only might you spark a discussion that is difficult to finish cordially, but once people know that you have strong views of some kind, you may find yourself drawn into debates more often than you intended.
  8. DON’T: Admit to any opinions or activities that are not mainstream or that you know sometimes make people react; if you are into fox hunting, faith healing or pole dancing, you don’t need to share your passion until you know your colleagues better
  9. DON’T: React sharply to criticism or gentle teasing. In some work cultures people take joy in “winding you up” and if they see that they can get a reaction, they will keep on doing it.
  10. DON’T: Refuse any reasonable offer to join in with social interaction such as lunch in the canteen, after work drinks or the department bowling team – even if you are dieting, don’t drink and hate bowling, gaining acceptance is more important