Top 10 Businesses and Industries Beating The Recession

10. Primark

This giant clothing store hailing from Ireland is now in every major British city, have several scattered in Spain and one in The Netherlands. It specialises in cheap clothing; whilst they do create a selection of their own, the majority of their stock is bought in bulk from countries such as India and China and sell them extremely cheap in their stores.

Their trading ethics might not be of the norm but Primark is beating the retailer’s gloom by revealing an increase of 18% in sales in the last quarter as bargain hunting fashionists’ flock to their shops.

I once a bought a knitted cardigan from there for £4; it shrunk in the wash not a week later but I can reassure it did not go to waste, it did fit my cat – now he looks like a preppy Garfield.

9. Pawnbrokers

If there ever was time in your life when you were short of cash and you were in dire need of it, what would you do? Rob a bank? Dance for money? Busking? Busking sounds good but don’t you need a license for that nowadays? 

“Oh, no,” you groan. 

Well, you can’t dance anyway. How about the Pawnbrokers?  

No, not the Oscar Nominated film of 1964, I mean the Pawnbrokers. 

‘Oh,’ you murmur half confused, half annoyed.

Ok, perhaps this isn’t a company but as hundreds of thousands of people are being laid off, there has been a deafening boom in the Pawnbroking industry. People in need of quick money have begun selling their items; jewellery and electronics popular as ever:  

“It has proved particularly fruitful during this year’s credit crunch, with customers looking both for discounts on the high street and instant cash,” says Graeme Mulheron, an owner of several lucrative Pawnbrokers’ located in south of England, ““In the last six weeks alone at the Luton store, we have witnessed a fantastic increase in retail sales of 28%”  

I bet you’ll find these popping around the corner from your home in a year or so.

8. BBC

The BBC is the media corporation that Britons come to love or hate. 

The BBC has remained quiet when it comes to their finances in these recent months but everyone knows they’ve been watching in amusement as other corporations squirm under the deadly scythe of the recession. Yet, the selection of programmes the BBC boasts has increased; a clear sign that things have been going well. 

Maybe it’s result of the amount of people without jobs intensifying who have nothing better to do than watching daytime television. In that case, bring on Cash in the Attic!  

So, what’s the secret to their success?

Lawfully forcing anyone who owns a T.V to pay a fee, even if you don’t watch their channels. Some call it extortion, others call it fair while the government just calls it bonus checks.

7. McDonald’s

 
They are so famous, they had Jay Leno serving for them. Now, what else equates to fame?

In these dark times, bankers, car makers and even football managers have felt the steel-rimmed boots of redundancy strike their nether regions but they should not be disheartened. As some optimists say, “There’s always a silver lining in every cloud”. In this case, they should take comfort in knowing that they can still catch a cheese burger for less than 99p. Now I know that turned a few frowns upside down.

As always, people still need to eat, and McDonald’s cheap services have proved to me more popular than ever. They weren’t shy in boasting about that too when the Chief Executive said that thanks to overseas sales, the company is ‘recession resistant’.

Heck, they are so resistant, they are planning in branching to the beverage market to compete with Starbucks. I can imagine that now…

“Welcome to McCafe’s Sir. Today we have a special offer on the Cinnamon Doce McMocha Deluxe …would you want a Double Chocolaty Surprise McCookie with that, Sir?”

6. Ryanair

Ryanair is Europe’s largest low-fare airline. I have once flown with Ryanair, and let me tell you, it was a cheap experience. I would have bought that feeling at the 99p store if I knew it stocked it at the time.

But what do you expect with an airline that is competing with your local Indian takeaway for the cheapest microwaved curry. Just ask the comedian, David Gorman, who happened to buy a ticket from London to Paris for £1 only a few years ago. 

Maybe it’s because they charge next to nothing but Ryanair recently reported that they sold 1.5 million seats in a space of a week. Not surprising.

A Ryanair spokesperson, Stephen McNamara said: “Ryanair continues to grow as high fares, fuel surcharging, airlines lose passengers to Ryanair’s low fares.”

The amount of cash-strapped people who have substituted their annual holidays, with shorter breaks has increased. People are now flying shorter distances and a majority are opting to spend their holidays closer to home; I’ve planned mine already – secretly camping in my neighbour’s garden.

 It has all the thrills of real camping too. I’ve packed pepper spray, some rope and a kebab just in case the bear comes out of his house.

5. William Hill/Gambling

William Hill is the UK’s biggest bookmaker. The recession has hit hard, leaving hundreds of thousands of people jobless. Do you see the formula yet? 

Jobless + Life savings + Need for money = Gambling.

Seriously, I should get an award for that. You can nominate me for a Nobel prize later, it’s back to business.

As thousands of redundant people are looking for new ways to make money to sustain their lifestyles, they have turned to the machines to decide their fate. 

“William Hill, which has 2,300 shops in the UK and Ireland, described its performance as resilient after gross win – the amount left by losing punters – rose 8% in the 11 weeks since October 20 and by 6% for the year as a whole.”

Imagine how well the rest of the gambling industry is doing?  

Well enough to be put in the number 5 slot…machine!

4. Google

You can’t walk a step without seeing the name Google these days. By my calculations, they own half of the internet. No, wait…51.2% as of eleven seconds ago.  

The recession has affected many and this is evident as many people trawl through the internet, looking for vouchers and bargains, but this creates more revenue for Google because they own…52.3% of the Internet – they even had to employ an extra 2130 staff to help them with the workload this year! 

From looking at the screenshots, people still think money grows on trees. Haha you idiots…what do you mean it technically does? Oh.

3. Wal-Mart

For those who don’t know, Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in the United States. The corporation also operates in the U.K as ASDA and Japan as Seiyu. They are noted as a cheap discount store and are the largest grocery in the U.S. 

Since people need to eat, drink, and shop compulsively even in a recession, they plan to do it the cheapest way possible. Hence the Walt-Mart solution. 
 
Cheap, cheap and around the corner. Did I forget cheap?

Wal-Mart has recently reported a decrease of profit but an increase of sales; I’m I the only one detecting something is wrong? Oh, I’m sorry. I almost forgot they were being sued – they will have to pay up $604 million to settle 63 lawsuits over wage and hour violations. 
 
But nonetheless, Wal-Mart still managed to earn $3.79 billion in the last quarter of 2008. 

Saying that, I think I just found the answer why Wal-Mart is so darn cheap – legal slave labour. Win-win for all.

2. Exxon Mobil

This mega corporation isn’t losing money any time soon. There might be a global recession but the world still needs to run and oil is the commodity just for that job. 

And who’s better to supply that commodity than Exxon Mobil?

The ever so successful Exxon Mobil reported making a staggering $45.2 Billion in full earnings for 2008. 

Close your mouth folks, there’s more to come.

Exxon Mobil’s revenue for 2008 was a recession-halting $404 Billion, exceeding the combined gross domestic income of 120 countries.

Now your jaws can drop.

Who said the recession will affect oil companies? 

My imaginary friend, Carol Voderman, estimated that Exxon Mobil could hire everyone who had been redundant in the past year and still hold a worldwide party for George Bush’s farewell party. They would need a lot of paper for that check list – What?!? Who said George Bush isn’t invited! 

Oh, can Obama come? Sweet.

1. The Potential Entrepreneurs

Entrepreneurs are generally people who have a screw lose in their head. Several to be exact. These special people don’t really need qualifications nor do they need a fancy certificate one can purchase of a dodgy website with their name crudely written on it with a crayon. No, they don’t need anything but ambition.

With ambition comes great ideas; determination, and goals, and a lot of caffeinated drinks. Coffee preferably. 

They are the people who will one day replace the businesses we see today; they are the people who will keep the world running when it runs out of natural resources.

“Entrepreneurs are people who take risks for monetary gain” or so it says when I check it up in the dictionary. All I know is that it’s more than that.

Entrepreneurs are the people who invent new things; alter our perception of life; and quite possibly, change our lives. 
 
Entrepreneurs will be the people who will get us out of the recession.

The potential Entrepreneurs are all you. Men and women who live their lives as teachers, doctors, delivery people, taxi drivers, fitness instructors or the gardener that cuts your grass. 

These people all share the same thing. Yes, they all are carbon-based living organisms but there is something else…They all have ambition. 

If you were ever so passionate on something, but you are in doubt, it’s best to ignore it – just do it. If you put your heart and mind to it, you can achieve the impossible. 

Let your ambition take over and reach for your dreams.

For this top spot, I hold you, the potential Entrepreneurs as the best company in beating the recession.