Misunderstandings or How to Unknowingly Fail a Negotiation
Throughout history, people have engaged in relations, have formed alliances, have destroyed, have conquered, have influenced each other. There is no mystery that the world revolves around circles of power that increase and decrease in influence as time goes by. Communication is generally tightly connected to these relations of power. The strong have always stepped on the weak, the West has always discredited the East, men have (not) always considered themselves superior to women, man has always tried to conquer nature, and so on. It seems like society runs in a Darwinian manner, where only the strong survives…
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In the spring of 1988, writer Shu-mei Shih, then a translator, had to intermediate a conversation between the American delegation and the Chinese at a reception in Beijing organized by the Chinese Ministry of Culture. Amongst the Chinese invited there, was Zhang Jie, a renowned Chinese writer, who happened to be a woman. The Americans asked if Jie considered herself a feminist, which arouse a violent “No!”, and so, the Americans mistakenly concluded that Jie was another victim of a patriarchal state, completely ignoring the Chinese reality(see Shu-mei Shih, Towards the Ethics of Transnational Encounters, or “When” Does a “Chinese” Woman Become a “Feminist”?).
This case is not singular and can be applied to a wide variety of contexts, from cultures that find themselves at the opposite poles of the Universe, to persons belonging to the same cultural climate, but come from different layers of social organization (be they social classes, sex, orientation, beliefs, etc.). The problem lies not only in coding and decoding a message, but in transferring the meaning intact through this process. We now live in a world that is equal in its difference, but this equality tends to reside on shallow level of communication. We are charmed by beautiful words and ideas, we perpetuate them, but when it comes to applying them in real-life situations, complication occur. That is, people are generally closed towards the Other and cannot or will not easily accept different points of view, decoded or not, giving birth to misunderstandings. These misunderstandings, will lead to conflicts and even hatred. Whether accepted or not, this vicious circle is extremely hard to break and the relations are as sensitive as a bomb ready to burst out.
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Even though the Stronger tend to adapt Everything Else to their codes, clashes can also occur in encounters between equals: either Strong-Strong, Strong-Weak, or Weak-Weak. A successful communication process can be measured by the participants’ degree of national/regional fortification thickness. Even nowadays, the dichotomy closed-open is a crucial requirement in cultural exchange. Adapting to the Other, instead of preying to the weak, on the other hand, is still merely an option, preferably kept at an superficially ideatic level.
Differences should not only be viewed in terms of power relations. There are various parallel elements that create identities: their geographical (dis)position, the historical background, their religion(s), their culture and habits, and last, but not least, the present-day context. If these realities are not taken into consideration, true communication cannot happen. The messages cannot be decoded. If there is a wall between the participants, and there is no way to cross it, if there is no window at least, and what is seen is an opaque mass of Self projected into the Otherness, there is no exchange of information. Without efficient and authentic exchange, the orientation is only towards the Self. Communication cannot exist between two closed doors and if I cannot perceive the Other and understand where the Other stands, I cannot share, I will give or take, leaving the Other in either a similar (which would mean each is talking to himself/herself, rather than with the interlocutor), or inferior position (trying to make me understand her/his point of view, to which, I am blind). This would be the case of the American delegation drawing the wrong conclusion about the Chinese feminists due to deficient communication.
This (lack of) communication and understanding can be easily viewed in business situations, where direct contact, most of the times between people belonging to different cultures is necessary. Business relations could be seen as a series of negotiations held on different levels: from a one-to-one level, to company-to-company one, and subsequently, to a country-to-country level. All parties involved in the act of negotiation use different tricks to make the other yield to their wishes. Or they think they do. When dealing with the Other, especially if the Other is from a different culture, one should understand the way the Other works. That is, if a business entity plans to take over or build a branch in a certain area, only having material resources would not be enough. Not everybody can be bought with great riches, not everybody sees the importance of corporations, not everybody knows one company or another. To make the negotiation a win-win match, all players should be aware of the others’ abilities and shortcomings, of their habits, ideas, and most importantly they should know how to avoid cultural taboos and talk either in a shared or in the Other’s language. Other ways of language can reveal more than a person would want to, even at a subconscious level. That is, the same way a company promotes a certain product underlining its best qualities and sometimes concealing elements that are not likely to be appreciated by the target audience, the negotiators market themselves or their company in act economic diplomacy.
A successful self-image vendor should be slightly aggressive (but not as to make the Other feel threatened, but to convince by alluding to his/her physical power), open to the Other (showing interest and accepting the receiver’s point of view – at least apparently), he/she should make proof of emotional intelligence and interact at this level as to create a connection that is more than a commercial transaction, and the negotiator, being aware of the receiver’s origin and culture, should allude to his/her knowledge and use it make the Other yield or share. Of course, the Other would be doing the same thing. If the conversation is open and both sides are aware of the Other, the negotiation will end positively.
Also, knowing the particular gestures of certain cultures is an Ace the negotiator should always hold in the sleeve. For example, the handshake is usually the first contact between parties and it can generate the first impression, which will later be almost impossible to alter. Handshakes should be firm when interacting with Americans or Canadians, soft and quick when dealing with the French. In Japan, they are done with an arm fully extended and accompanied by a bow, similar to German men who also slightly bow after a firm handshake. On the other hand, in the Middle East, handshakes are done with the free hand, placed on the forearm of the other person (Body Language across Cultures, Handshakes).
Even more, cultural elements are to be taken into consideration, as for instance the attitude towards time. According to James F. McGrath, most Eastern and African traditional communities, view human relations as more important than time, “one does not hurry on to business matters – first one chats with those one will be dealing with, even if this delays the start of the meeting”, thus building trust and relationships (par. 4). For the Western World, such delays are unthinkable. Time should be dealt mathematically with precision. Therefore, only from a detail, relationships can be broken:
Westerners feel that Easterners are dishonest and rude when they come 20 minutes to half an hour late to an appointment. But when an Easterner says ‘11:00′ he or she means ‘between 11 and 12′. In contrast Westerners divide time into strictly-measured hours, minutes and seconds, into which one carefully arranges one’s plans, appointments, and activities so as to fit exactly and not cause delays to one’s own or anyone else’s plans. Neither is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ necessarily, but they certainly are different, and when persons with different assumptions come into contact there is great room for misunderstanding! (par. 5)
In conclusion, avoiding misunderstandings is the key to successful business. A negotiator who will consider himself/herself superior or belonging to a superior community, disregarding the Other’s identity and trying to impose his/her own, and will to (de)code the messages being sent through different channels will only succeed in failing the negotiation and will prove with that Imperialism is not as dead as we thought, or that (s)he represents a weak community (be it a company or a country). Hopefully equality in diversity is not just a beautiful lie told to mesmerize and disconnect from the real world…
Works Cited
1.James F. McGrath. Understanding Culture and Cultural Differences. Introduction To The Study of Other Cultures. Butler University. 21 May 2009. .
2.Rohmann, Chris. The Dictionary of Important Ideas and Thinkers. London: Arrow Books, 2002
3.Shih, Shu-mei. Towards an Ethics of Transnational Encounters, or “When” Does a “Chinese” Woman Become a “Feminist”?. Pages 2-28 in Dialogue and Difference, Feminisms Challenge Globalization. ed. Margarite Waller and Silvia Marcos. Hampshire: Macmillan, 2009
4.Wang, Sheng. “Handshakes” Body Language Across Cultures.23 October 2006. Medhunters. 21 May 2009. .
