How to Make Money Without Even Trying

Tired of planning ahead and of careful budgeting? Scarcely making ends meet monthly and can’t keep up with endless credit card repayments? Or are the red letters stacking up? Then let’s generate income without having to work for it.

As competitive markets in world economy gradually become fiercer, finding all possible means of destroying their respective competitors, you’ll find that your pockets are gradually tightening up, not breathing freely anymore. There isn’t any more time for abundance on frivolity, luxurious items or simply buying what you want to for no reason at all. You may have to hold out on that beige Victorian bath or the hovering paper-shredder with in-built mp3 player.

Current inflation rates at 2.5%, job-cuts and food prices sky rocketing on a daily basis greatly contribute to our everyday juggling, to a more financially restrictive lifestyle in respect to previous years; as Mervyn King (governor of the Bank of England) has said in his recent speech “Serious thinking and a willingness to contemplate radical changes are necessary”. He also said other things of a similar nature. Therefore, either adapting to or changing with the current economy becomes crucial in order to survive.

Plants need water, oxygen and light; Machines need electricity in order to function; the modern human being needs a reclining hydraulics-chair, motorized, with embedded dvd-player, internet access and optional Dictaphone. Some even spot the signs of a recession early, ready to retire to their underground bunkers where SPAM and other canned goods are plenty stocked. It won’t be long before we’ll be eating our dog’s food, or dog food or indeed our dog. It may well make for grim times ahead.

Thankfully enough, due to extensive research and the powers of investigative journalism, there are ways which allow us to escape the rigid and cold reality of having to work all our lives for little money, like the slippery weasels that we are. No longer working to repay a mortgage which we will certainly not benefit from (i.e. death) or writing a cheque signed “You see what I did there”. We will work together on things you could do to drastically improve your net income without having to work hard at it, and generating much more money than if you were.

The first thing is having rich parentage. This of course ensures that some of the wealth is distributed accordingly. This guarantees you money without having to move very much. Failing that, you could try applying for Government funding for a project which is based on “Ethnic Integration in modern society” or similarly entitled, this almost always guarantees funding from local Governments; should Government employees enquire about said project simply reply “The previous occupant has moved, I am just a tenant”. Use some adequate apparel, such as a blonde wig or a colourful apron, should the authorities ever make a visit.

Another sure way to get large amounts of cash is sponsorship. Of course, with the advent of the internet this could also involve very little work, especially when instructing children to copy and paste text. For instance, post your proposal of a sponsored event in forums or newsgroups, widely frequented websites are also hugely profitable. An example of a good sponsored event is “Non-broadcastable and undocumented walking race”: it will draw enough attention because it sounds interesting, yet people will not demand to see it.

These are some simple and fun ideas on how to make money fast without hard-work. Remember: Keep it fun-tastic! Some may work for you; some will simply be as futile as just sitting down reading this article. But one thing is certain: you will have had bundles of fun in the process, almost as much as I have had in making a profit from you reading this article.

Tricked you: now go and work so I can earn some money.